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Okay...so I know it has been a really long time since I have posted but my life is great and I love this song and that is all I have to say!

Okay....so I decided that I would write another one just because I am supposed to be sleeping but then I decided to clean my room and then I decided I didn't want to do that anymore either.

Do you know what it is like to long to be happy and you have certain hopes and dreams and then once you get everything you have been waiting for you realize it's not really what you want. I think I really got myself into a mess this time. I thought I could be happy this way. I'm scared now. What is going to happen. I know that there are ways that I could fix this. I know exactly what to do but I am scared that that would put me right back at being unhappy again and walk me right back into some really bad habits. Maybe I will just drop everything and concentrate on school work. That's what I really need to do anyways, but somehow I just feel like I would be wasting my time. I feel like right now I have support from some certain people just because at the moment they don't have anything else better to do and my problem is that I trust people too easily. I shouldn't do that. I need to stop thinking about all the crap that people are telling me about and just go to sleep because school is the most important thing to me right now. THE END!

Okay....well, so here is an update on my life. Things are going great. Better than they have ever been before.....I think. I am going to work really hard in school second semester. Hopefully, I won't be working so much so I con concentrate on my studies a little bit more. I am also gonna try really hard to got get sick like I did last semester and miss like 2 weeks of school.....exams suck. Anyways, I am enjoying my day off today from everything. I told my boss that we were going away for the weekend and that I couldn't work.....HAHA. At least its honest. I talked my parents into going away for the weekend. Well, I think I am going to go lay on the couch and find out what I have missed on TV all year.

*Lauren...this is just for you because no one else reads my journal.

Well, things have been going great. I finally set my life straight and it feels good. I talked to my sister the other night and she is really the one that I owe most of this to. She always helps me when I need it and she is always there for me. I don't know where I would be without her. She gives me a really great role model to look up to. I feel bad for the kids growin up now whose siblings are just lookin to get into trouble.

A lot of things have been going on lately and it made me realize that I am wasting my life. I need to concentrate. While I am concentrating on my future and my school I want to have fun but not the kind that I have been getting myself into lately. I'm sick of trying to hide everything and now that I have found something that is good in my life, something to live for each day I am ready to stop the crazyness and the drama. Anyways, I'm moving on now.